Render Me In Three Dimensions Like One of Your French Girls

The first video above is the original 1997 trailer to the film Titanic. The second is for the 2012 3D re-release.

What differences do we notice?

For starters, the second is a much simpler, pared down version. It's nearly half as long. It assumes you know the story, or are at least vaguely familiar with it. It assumes you know the characters and why they're on the boat. It assumes you know who are the leads and the fact they wind up together. They don't have to waste time establishing context, they can dive right into the good stuff.

And by "Good Stuff" I mean the memorable parts. The images seared into our collective consciousnesses that scream "James Cameron's Titanic." We have the captain, the engine room crew, the steerage dance scene, the sex scene in the old-timey car, the elderly couple preparing themselves for death in their bed, among others.

And because so many scenes were added, some of the less-memorable scenes are swept under the rug. Gone are any indicators this story is told via flashback, save for a brief three second shot of a submarine near the beginning. Gone is Billy Zane and any indicators of class struggle as a main theme, possibly a hot button issue in this current era of occupiers and 99 percenters.

What has been added? That god damn Celine Dion song. In the original, it was a brief instrumental piece among the other orchestral numbers. In the new one, it's belted out over the entire second half. And shame on the marketing team; America has just about nearly forgotten Celine Dion altogether. She's like a wart. Even if we get rid of her, she's still creeping around under the surface.

But on a less bitter note, the new trailer has a heavier emphasis on the disaster-movie qualities. It was definitely the editor's intention to feature short, punchy, exciting clips, most likely to emphasize the possibilities and grandeur of 3D. As opposed to, you know, the conversion being a completely pointless endeavor.


Oscar Predictions - 2012

Last year I got 12/24. This year, I'm going to get better than an F.

Live Action Short Film:
Winner: Time Freak
Upset: Tuba Atlantic
Dark Horse: Raju

Animated Short Film:
Winner: The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr Morris Lessmore (The writer was paid by the syllable, apparently)
Upset: La Luna
Dark Horse: Wild Life

Documentary Short:
Winner: Incident in New Baghdad
Upset: Saving Face
Dark Horse: The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Documentary Feature:
This is the hardest category to predict this year. If you get this right, you must work for PriceWaterhouseCooper.
Winner: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Upset: Hell and Back Again
Dark Horse: Pina

Foreign Language Film:
Winner: A Separation
No others here. This is a lock.

Animated Feature:
Winner: Rango
Another lock. This one had the award in the bag before the nominations came out.

Winner: Harry Potter 8
Upset: The Iron Lady
Hey, remember last year how The Wolf Man won? That was weird.

Original Score:
Winner: The Artist (Original score, aside from the parts heavily borrowed from Vertigo)
Upset: The Adventures of Tintin
Dark Horse: War Horse

Original Song:
Thanks again for fucking up this category, Academy
Winner: Man or Muppet (The Muppets)

Visual Effects:
Winner: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Upset: Harry Potter 8
Dark Horse: Real Steel

Sound Mixing (Dialogue and Balancing):
Winner: Hugo
Upset: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Dark Horse: War Horse

Sound Editing (Foley and Effects):
Winner: Hugo
Upset: Drive
Dark Horse: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Costume Design:
Winner: The Artist (Tuxedos and fancy pants)
Upset: Jane Eyre (Petticoats and fancy pants)
Dark Horse: Hugo (Berets and fancy pants)

Art Direction:
Winner: The Artist (Come on, it's in the title)
Upset: Hugo
Dark Horse: Harry Potter 8 (It'd be a lifetime achievement award for Harry Potter.)

Winner: The Artist
Upset: The Descendants
Dark Horse: Hugo

This is where I stray from the popular opinion. I believe the majority of the Academy will stray from the surreal stylings of The Tree of Life towards something more traditional.
Winner: Hugo
Upset: The Tree of Life
Dark Horse: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Original Screenplay:
Winner: Midnight in Paris
Upset: A Separation
Dark Horse: Margin Call

Adapted Screenplay:
Winner: The Descendants
Upset: The Ides of March
Dark Horse: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Supporting Actress:
Winner: Octavia Spencer - The Help
Upset: Berenice Bejo - The Artist
Dark Horse: Melissa McCarthy - Bridesmaids

Supporting Actor:
Winner: Christopher Plummer - Beginners
Upset: Max Von Sydow - Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Dark Horse: Jonah Hill - Moneyball

Leading Actress:
Winner: Viola Davis - The Help
Upset: Michelle Williams - My Week With Marylin
Dark Horse: Rooney Mara - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Leading Actor:
Very very close. I think Clooney will edge out Dujardin simply because of favoritism.
Winner: George Clooney - The Descendants
Upset: Jean Dujardin - The Artist
Dark Horse: Brad Pitt - Moneyball

Winner: Michel Hazanavinazavinazavinicazazinivus - The Artist
Upset: Alexander Payne - The Descendants
Dark Horse: Martin Scorsese - Hugo

Best Picture:
9th place: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
8th place: The Tree of Life
7th place: War Horse
6th place: Moneyball
5th place: The Help
4th place: Midnight in Paris
3rd place: Hugo
2nd place: The Descnedants
Winner: The Artist

EDIT: 15/24. Still weirded out how The Iron Lady got more Oscars than The Descendents.


Extremely Similar and Incredibly Close

Here's something interesting I discovered about Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. It got the Oscar nom for Best Picture because it's exactly the same as the other eight films.

Don't believe me?

It's the personal story of how one boy and his best friend were separated by an infamous act of international violence...

...Causing the young boy to lose his father in a tragic accident, establishing a mystery centered around a lock and key...

...But by using an unconventional strategy, backed by a mathematical algorithm involving normally overlooked people...

...He keeps alive the memories of his father, his enduring legacy and the impact he had on his adolescent life...

...By going on a futile journey for solace, to find answers as to why his once-perfect life has unfairly been upended...

...And Viola Davis is there, who has much bigger problems than the young, white, protagonist, but she agrees to help anyways...

...And there's a deeply depressed man, plagued by his own silence...

...But in the end, after meeting numerous interesting people, the hero learns to let go of the past and focus on his future in the city he loves.