2013.

My Top Ten of 2013

10) Side Effects

One of the most difficult genres to write is the mystery genre. The storyteller not only has to develop an intricate story, but then choose when to reveal which details. Too much, too early and it seems clumsy and insulting. Too little, too late and it's as if the author had written themselves into a corner. It's like dancing in a minefield; every step must be in right spot, at the right time, in the right rhythm.

Side Effects is a good mystery film because it focuses on the journey instead of the destination. It isn't so much a Whodunnit as a Whydunnit and Howdunnit. The cast is fantastic. Jude Law pays the reluctant detective, uncovering the conspiracy engulfing him, trying to understand his place as the fall guy and redeem his life in the process. Rooney Mara and Catherine Zeta-Jones make a great pair of alternating villains/victims/red herrings/confidantes. And Channing Tatum sure did appear onscreen.

Side Effects owes a lot to the conspiracy thriller genre perfected by Alfred Hitchcock. If you like those types of films, you'll probably enjoy this one. It's tight, it's tense, and it's always moving. One of Soderbergh's greatest strengths as a director is his ability to keep multiple balls in the air at once, and Side Effects only makes you wonder why he waited so long to try his hand at the mystery genre. It's Holmesian in its plot twists, and smart throughout. I definitely recommend it.



9) Nebraska

I didn't grow up in a small town. I was suburban, through and through. I do, however, have an aunt, uncle and cousins who live in the middle-of-nowhere. I'm talking 1000 people maximum in a ten mile radius. My family used to visit often, as it was cheaper than a real vacation. If you've ever had a similar experience, the understated humor and scenery of Alexander Payne's Nebraska will speak to you directly.

Bruce Dern performs with tremendous passion and effort. He switches believably back and forth between senile, cantankerous, bitter and joyous. Relative unknown June Squibb plays his battleax of a wife, in a wonderful, hilarious role that's all but guaranteed to be nominated for an Oscar. Also of note is Will Forte, playing Dern's son and begrudging shepherd. Yes, Will Forte. SNL, Clone High, MacGruber, Will Forte. Forte displays a set of subtle comedic muscles he's never had the opportunity to flex, and it shows just how much he has to offer besides funny voices and an inability to read screenplays.

Nebraska works as both a biting satire and a quiet reflection of family life and small-town America. It reminds me so much of The Straight Story, and I loved The Straight Story. It's funny, it's heartwarming, it's tragic, and you develop so many feelings for the main characters over just an hour and a half, you cheer them on as their story draws to a close. It's a wonderful celebration of life, legacies, and fulfillment, no matter who stands in your way.


8) The Way Way Back

Oh, life. It's big, it's confusing, it's terrifying and it's just not fair. Good people get dealt bad hands, and bad people end up getting more than they ever deserve. And in the middle of it all are the teenagers, no longer under the blissful naivety of childhood, but not able to make the changes needed to fix the world. All they have a small, uncloseable porthole where all the pollution seeps in at a constant rate. Life sucks. Enter, the coming-of-age film.

The Way Way Back is typical in this regard, but that doesn't make it any less spectacular. Liam James plays a young man, unsure of his place both in the world and his family. His soon-to-be-stepfather (played very against-type by Steve Carrell) unceremoniously burdens him with adult-caliber stress and emotional problems. Further complicating things, he's dragged unwillingly on summer vacation. How does one escape from one's problems when one's problems completely engulf one's existence? Enter the magical slacker played by Sam Rockwell, to teach him by example, life is never so bad, and problems are never so real.

The Way Way Back reminds me a lot of my childhood (minus the adultery, marijuana and slacker mentors). I was quiet, misanthropic and I was dragged on my share of family vacations to places I didn't like. And when we got there, there was nothing to be done except lounge around, allowing my quiet, misanthropic self to fester. The film felt like it was speaking to me, directly. The protagonist's problems were my problems. I felt a moment of connection between me and a fictional character, across the stretches of time and space. Truth be told, you couldn't pay me to relive my teenage years. But as long as films like The Way Way Back continue popping up, I feel comfortable looking back.


7) Iron Man 3

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is one of my favorite films of all time, and it's taken quite a while, but I finally have my sequel. Robert Downey Jr reprises his role as Robert Downey Jr, while Don Cheadle stands in for Val Kilmer. Also returning is Protocop, the robotic, crime-fighting suits of armor, this time in a leading role.

Shane Black returns with his traditional action/comedy style, returning Downey to his most comfortable settings: southern California. Once again, Downey must uncover a massive, murder-laced conspiracy whilst hiding undercover, all for the sake of a pretty blonde girl. All the other Kiss Kiss Bang Bang staples are present as well: The incidental Christmas setting, the smart-ass henchmen, the film noir inspiration balanced by a bunch of goofy humor, shocking moments of gore delivered with Tom and Jerry physics, and so forth. It's a real treat, and I'm happy to finally have it. Bring on Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang 3!


6) Pacific Rim

This is what Transformers should have been. Seriously. I've never given more than two rat asses about the Transformers. If you had given me Pacific Rim instead of the LaBoeuf/Fox clusterfuck, you would have a fan for life. But you don't. Because you didn't. Instead of fixing the problems, you tried to add Ken Jeong into the mix.

There are no bad ideas, just bad executions. Pacific Rim works because it knows exactly what it's supposed to be: Giant robots fighting giant monsters. There's more influence from Toho Productions than from the works of Roland Emmerich. It's fun. It knows exactly when to take itself lightly (look at these names: Gipsy Danger, The Shatterdome, Hannibal Chau), and when to take itself seriously (anytime Rinko Kikuchi is onscreen). You care about these action scenes because they feature characters you respect, know, empathize with, and the stakes are raised so high, concerning them and them alone. It's not the fate of the world, it's the fate of THEM. The world is just a bonus.

There are so many things to love about Pacific Rim, ranging from themes such as multinationalism and feminism, to little things like Charlie Day and Burn Gorman's odd-couple schtick and Ellen McLain revisiting GLaDOS for no reason beyond fan service. All this and more is bundled up in a very smart, very stylized, very exciting genre film. And because of that, nobody went to see it. They prefer Transformers. People are dumb.



5) Inside Llewyn Davis

Inside Llewyn Davis is a tragedy wrapped up in the guise of a comedy. Or perhaps vice-versa. Oscar Isaac is Llewyn Davis, a folk singer in New York City, 1961, forced to go solo after his singer/songwriter partner commits suicide. Llewyn is the Art Garfunkel, the John Oates, the Andrew Ridgley. He tries his damndest to make his solo career work, but cannot due to bad breaks, missed opportunities, his own selfish nature and most tragic of all, his lack of talent.

The film features the trademark Coen Brothers style of various, colorful characters weaving in and out. Everyone in the cast is just wonderful. Carey Mulligan, Garret Hedlund, Adam Driver, Stark Sands, John Goodman, the list just keeps going on and on. It's all-inclusive. Even Justin Timberlake is wonderful, and understand, I only say nice things about Justin Timberlake once every three years.

Despite the diegetic insistence Llewyn lacks musical fortitude, the soundtrack is inescapably catchy and engrossing. After seeing the movie, I immediately fired up Spotify and listened to the entire soundtrack again and again, long into the night. It's just that good. That's Marcus Mumford of Mumford & Sons singing with Oscar Isaac in the trailer, who also helped produce the soundtrack. As of writing, it doesn't seem like Inside Llewyn Davis will replicate O Brother Where Art Thou's success, but it's definitely a worthy companion piece.


4) Frozen

It's the little things that make Frozen a wonderful film. I love the way various frozen items react, especially compared to their thawed versions. I love the way snow falls, in clumps and flakes alike. I love the way ice freezes, fractures and grows onscreen. I'm a grown man, but I've listened and lip-synched to the soundtrack unapologetically. I love how the animators have perfected various textures. That velvet looks like velvet. That wool looks like wool. That... other fabric looks real as well. (What do you want from me? I'm a film blogger, not a seamstress.)

Frozen has received lots of acclaim for updating the Disney fairy tale model. Getting married promptly after meeting a handsome man is a stupid idea. Love isn't exclusively a romantic thing. The main character isn't a princess, she's the goddamn queen, with all the responsibilities and duties therein. All of this is uncharted territory, and we're going full steam ahead. Don't just SET the bar, RAISE the bar!
 
Everything about Frozen is wonderful Disney magic, cranked to the max. I've overused the word "love" in this review, but to hell with it; in for a penny, in for a pound. I love the story, I love the themes, I love the subtleties, I love the humor, I love the animation, I love the music, I love the characters. I love it, I love it, I love it. It's too early to claim Disney is in the midst of another renaissance, but if they keep it up, I'd love to see what they do next.



3) The World's End
The final film in the Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Nick Frost Cornetto Trilogy, The World's End focuses on the dangers of nostalgia, arrested development, and destructive behavior, but does so in a comedy/sci-fi setting. Pegg plays Gary King, who reunites his four childhood friends to reattempt an incomplete bar crawl from their bygone youth: The Golden Mile. In a switch from the first two Cornetto movies, Frost plays the straightman while Pegg plays the lovable loser. It's a testament to the duo's acting range, as well as their strength as a pair.

What makes Edgar Wright so unique is his ability to blend the realistic with the absurd. A romantic comedy with zombies. A Shoot-Em-Up in a picturesque village. A hipster rock opera set in a video game world. The Big Chill meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This man should have made Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

And I'll just admit it: The ending is a cop out. They could have gone a dozen different ways, and they picked probably the worst direction. But that's okay. There's no such thing as perfection. When you like something, you don't ignore the flaws, you like it despite the flaws. And even though The World's End has a pretty big one, it doesn't detract from an otherwise grand movie. Cheers all around.


2) Her 

Science fiction is a strange genre, and the better the story, the more malleable the genre conventions become. Her continues the philosophies of Isaac Asimov, proffering questions about what constitutes a life, an experience, an emotion, a feeling, a thought, and how science could not only transcend those definitions, but make an artificial entity that fully incorporates them.

Her is the story of Ted Twombley, an ordinary man who purchases an AI operating system on a whim. As the film progresses, Ted learns the AI isn't just a genuine personality simulation, but an actual artificial human, who identifies itself as Samantha. Friendship, romance, desire, dependency and passion stem from what should have been nothing more than voice-recognition software. And it's absolutely wonderful.

No force in Heaven or Earth could convince me this is silly, disingenuous, or phony. Ted and Samantha are 2013's Rick and Ilsa. It is genuine love. You feel engrossed in every conversation. You feel every feeling. You feel touched when they touch. It is real. Scarlett Johansson never appears onscreen. Not even in a cameo (and there were plenty of opportunities.) And yet, her voice work is so powerful, so moving, so hauntingly beautiful, she deserves a special award of merit. Melt down two Heisman trophies and three Peabodys, and just leave the result on her doorstep. I'll cover the shipping cost. Her is, with no hyperbole, one of the greatest romance stories to ever grace the silver screen. It's not conventional, but then again, great stories rarely are.


1) Gravity

Every time I try to find intellectual discourse on film, I'm always greeted with chants of how CGI and special effects and 3D presentation is ruining the medium. From this day forward, every time I see this argument, I'll cue up a clip from Gravity, one of the most breathtaking, remarkable experiences I've ever had in a movie theater.

The story is scenery. Sandra Bullock is an astronaut who becomes stranded after an accident leaves her isolated and shipwrecked in the cold, hostile vacuum of space. Using the limited resources available, including oxygen, she must not only survive, but find a way back to the warm embrace of planet Earth.

On the other hand, the story is the scenery. There were actual moments I forgot I was watching a movie. A fictional construct. Not actual footage of people in outer space. The scenery (or lack thereof, I guess) is so amazing, rich and beautiful. It looks like space. It feels like space. I've never actually been myself, but I fully believe Gravity is the single closest representation of space in film history. I can't believe something so near perfect exists, and I'm thankful for the privilege of seeing it.

CGI is not a plague. It is not an abomination. It is a tool. In the right hands, tools can build a house. In the wrong hands, tools can build an O'Charleys. The only difference is whoever wields the hammer, the chisel or the paintbrush. CGI can do wonderful, amazing things, and we the viewer should encourage filmmakers to test the limits of what those things are, not besmirch them for trying. We go to the movies to see things we've never seen before, hear stories we've never heard before, experience things we've never experienced before. In order to do this, we sometimes need to bend the rules of time and space, and that's precisely what SFX advancements allow us to do. Otherwise we're just a group of neo-luddites who should line up for the latest zoetrope.

Gravity is one of the best films of 2013, and certainly my favorite of the year. It preaches the simple message of never giving up, and never abandoning hope. If we received a film this good this year, who knows what the future may bring.



And now, The Also-Rans:

Electric Boogaloo

15 Sequels That Will Never Happen:

1) The Subtle Knife
2) Super Mario Bros 2
3) Buckaroo Banzai and the World Crime League
4) Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires
5) Street Fighter II: Turbo
6) The Last Airbender - Book 2: Earth
7) Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne
8) Eldest
9) Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury
10) Ralph Bakshi's Return of the King
11) Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
12) The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
13) Fletch Won
14) Masters of the Universe II
15) Charlie and the Great Glass Wonkavator


15 Sequels Nobody Asked For But Are Coming Anyways:

1) Pirates of the Caribbean 5
2) Paranormal Activity 5
3) Men in Black 4
4) The Legend of Conan
5)  Prometheus 2
6) Oz: The Great and Powerful Part 2
7) Hot Tub Time Machine 2
8) Snow White and the Huntsman 2
9) Night at the Museum 3
10) Terminator 5
11) The Lost Symbol
12) A Haunted House 2
13) xXx Three
14) Tron 3
15) Rio 2


15 Sequels I Want:


1) Tucker and Dale Vs. The Aliens
2) Lock, Stock, and Two More Smoking Barrels
3) The Player 2: Sequel Pitch
4) Return to District 9
5) Twilight Watch
6) tranCendenZ
7) Galaxy Quest: The Next Generation
8) Warshinton: The Legend of Early Grayce
9) Bike Fatboy Bike
10) Lemony Snickett's A Regrettably Second Series of Unfortunate Events
11) That Thing You Did
12) Zombieland 3D
13) Kiss Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Bang
14) School of Rock 2: America Rocks
15) Pineapple Express 2: The New Strand

10 Great Sesame Street Songs

Sesame Street is a cultural icon. It transcends international boundaries to reach children and teach them fundamental skills of life and learning. And there are Muppets involved. Double plus good.

Despite it's Pre-K appeal, there's something timeless and heartwarming about Sesame Street that always makes a nostalgic trip down memory lane worthwhile.

Until this fucker showed up.

Sometime in the mid-to-late 90s, Children's Television Workshop decided to shift the focus of attention away from an ensemble cast of human performers and various Muppets to the red-felt money machine. Elmo was marketable, and that's it. That's all that mattered. It doesn't even matter his puppeteer and voice actor was accused with multiple accusations of pederasty. Elmo was staying. Elmo was untouchable. Elmo was invincible and eternal.


And that's a shame. Because the simple, kid-focused humor and writing has the spectacular ability to reach adults as well. But the music. By god the music. That's in a class all of its own. Sesame Street has an army of 20, 30 and even 40 year-olds singing infectious ditties by the score (pun intended).

Let's count down ten songs I personally remember, and examine why they were (and continue to be) so great.

10)Telephone Rock



What questions did I ask as a kid? What is a telephone booth? Why does the phone have a dial instead of buttons? What is an operator? Nope. I wanted to know why the background singers were cavemen.

Look at them. They look like cavemen! Shaggy hair, furry clothing, saber tooth necklace. I'm not wrong about this.

ELMO SAYS: PLAYSKOOL ELMO PHONE AVAILABLE AT ALL MAJOR RETAILERS FOR $9.99

9) The Word is No



This one's a product of its era, parodying avant-garde music videos of the time, including Talking Head's And She Was and Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer. I think somebody at CTW learned how to change the frame rate of their camera, and then pitched the idea in a flurry of excitement.

ELMO SAYS: SOMEONE ONCE TELL ELMO 'NO, ELMO CANNOT HAVE THIRTY MINUTES DEDICATED SCREENTIME.' IT WAS LAST THING HE SAY.

8) You're Alive



For several years, I believed trees and plants were not alive because of this song. Misleading! That'll teach me to trust a Muppet that looks like Sammy Hagar.

ELMO SAYS: EVERYTHING ALIVE IN ELMO'S WORLD. CRAYONS ARE ALIVE. TV ALIVE. TOYS ALIVE. GOOD LESSON FOR KIDS.

7) Put Down the Duckie



Try explaining to a child of three who Andrea Martin or Wynton Marsalis are. Hell, I still don't recognize half these people.

Also, total whiplash switching instantly from Pee-Wee Herman to Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

ELMO SAYS: HEY, THAT'S PAUL REUBENS! ELMO'S FRIEND KEVIN CLASH SEES LOTS OF MOVIES WITH PAUL REUBENS!

6) Healthy Food



Yup. That's Frank Oz rapping. The 90s were weird.

This is why the "Sometimes Food" controversy was such malarkey.

ELMO SAYS: ELMO GONNA HAVE TO POP A CAP IN COOKIE'S ASS. WEST SIDE, BITCH!

5) Dance Myself to Sleep



Bert and Ernie's relationship is hotly debated. Being forced to share my bedroom with a younger brother for many years, I was convinced Bert and Ernie were siblings. With parents who were never seen.

This is why the common urban legend of the duo being gay lovers never sits well with me.

ELMO SAYS: ELMO START THAT URBAN LEGEND. ELMO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF BIGOTED RED STATE VALUES TO ELIMINATE RIVALS. IT WORK FOR GOP.

4) Somebody Come and Play



I always remember this song being slower. And acoustic. And performed in a minor key. And I thought Bob McGrath sang it...

Memory's a tragic thing.

ELMO SAYS: MR NOODLES IS DOING PRATFALLS! NOW I'M TALKING TO A GOLDFISH! NOW I'M COLORING! NOW I'M TALKING TO THE GOLDFISH AGAIN!

3) Mary Had a Bicycle



Don Music: World's best or world's worst plagiarist?

My family inherited a piano when I was six. Guess what running gag I repeatedly re-enacted.

ELMO SAYS: ELMO ELMO ELMO ELMO ELMO. ELMO ELMO ELMO ELMO? ELMO ELMO ELMO. ELMO.

2) Do De Rubber Duck



Sesame Street invented the foam party. With a bathtub that big, it was inevitable.

They are all wearing swim trunks. I will hear no other arguments.

ELMO SAYS: ELMO FORCED TO SING IN BACKGROUND WHILE F#@%ING GUY SMILEY GETS A SOLO? GUY SMILEY GONNA HAVE ACCIDENT COMING INTO WORK TOMORROW.

1) Monster in the Mirror



Let's play 'Name That Early-90s Celebrity!'

ELMO SAYS: The law firm of Hooper and Hooper represents the Public Broadcasting Station and Children's Television Workshop. If you are represented by legal counsel, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and have your attorney notify us of such representation.

      You are hereby directed to:

CEASE AND DESIST ALL DEFAMATION OF
  COPYRIGHTED CHARACTERS AND REPUTATIONS.

For a thorough explanation on why Elmo is terrible, read this.

Don't Touch That Dial!

My 25 favorite episodes of my 25 favorite TV shows.

25) Taylor Stiltskin Sweet Sixteen (S01E06)
24) The Big Lock-Out (S01E05)
23) Looks and Books (S01E11)
22) Life Time (S08E11)
21) Hush (S04E10)
20) The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (S03E12)
19) The Chicken Roaster (S08E08)
18) Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough (S02E13)
17) The Boiling Rock (S03E14 and 15)
16) It May Look Like a Walnut (S02E20)
15) Mr. Wilson's Opus (S05E23)
14) A-Firefighting We Will Go (S03E10)
13) Shell Game IV: Scallops (S09E20)
12) Shooting Fish in a Barrel (S05E22)
11) My Father's Office (S01E03)
10) The Screaming Skull (S09E12)
9) Art (S01E03)
8) Don't Tread on Pete (S01E06)
7) The Heart-Shaped Pillow of Annie Taylor (S02E09)
6) Take Your Daughter to Work Day (S02E18)
5) My Way Home (S05E07)
4) Summer of 4 Ft. 2 (S07E25)
3) The Best Burger in New York (S04E02)
2) Ariel (S01E09)
1) Mr. F (S03E05)


(Technically, The Amazing Race would be my 14th favorite show, but how am I supposed to pick a favorite episode of that?)

The 50 Greatest Music Movie Moments: 5 - 1

5.) Back to the Future - Johnny B. Goode
Written by Chuck Berry
Performed by Tim May and Mark Hanson


The scene: After inadvertently traveling backwards in time, preventing his parents from falling in love and erasing himself from existence, Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) has undone all his mistakes and restored the timeline in just under a week. All he has left to offer the world of 1955 is the gift of rock and roll, wrapped and packaged three years premature.

The song: Back to the Future's dance scene is essential viewing for music theorists, demonstrating how music is evolutionary with a clear demonstration on the natural progression from doo-wop and rhythm and blues. This is further emphasized with Marty aping the "futuristic" styles of Jimi Hendrix, The Who, AC/DC and Van Halen. Speaking of which, Michael J. Fox did indeed play and sing "Johnny B. Goode," but both his vocals and guitar were dubbed over in the final cut. Regardless, "Johnny B. Goode" is an iconic rock and roll song; symbolic of it's era, but also timeless. It's a perfect choice for a movie about time travel.


4.) The Karate Kid - You're the Best
by Joe Esposito


The scene: After months of training, Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) is ready to compete at the All-Valley Karate Tournament. He has his work cut out for him, squaring off against the ruthless and unethical fighters of the Cobra Kai dojo. Luckily, he's been training. He just might be the best around. Nothing could ever keep him down.

The song: Much like "Danger Zone" and "Eye of the Tiger," "You're the Best" is the type of song that could only be bred in the 1980s. With its over-the-top musical and corny lyrics, it's easy to mistake it for a parody. But no, it's real and it's fantastic. So much so, it rightfully earns a place in the top five, of for no other reason than its sheer audacity.


3.) American Psycho - Hip to be Square
by Huey Lewis and the News


The scene: Wealthy, young urban professional Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) has a dark secret. He's utterly insane and likes to kill people in violent, grotesque manners. His latest mark is a fellow investment banker who's no stranger to conspicuous consumption. But Patrick is somebody who enjoys his work; just because it's murder, doesn't mean he can't have a song in his heart.

The song: "Hip to be Square" is literally defined by Patrick Bateman as "(a song) about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends." And that's why it fits in so well with the world of American Psycho, a film about a man outwardly displaying an affinity towards the high-end lifestyles of the 1980s. The peppy number serves double purpose by initiating a great bit of black humor; having a brutally horrible murder take place while major chords blare in the background. It's psychotic, but what do you expect? There are no more barriers to cross.


2.) Wayne's World - Bohemian Rhapsody
by Queen


The scene: Local slackers and public-access TV personalities Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar (Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey) are out for a night on the town. Soaking up the local flavor and excitement only Aurora, Illinois can offer, the pair are armed with an AMC Pacer, a cassette deck, and a religious knowledge of the least-likely metal song in musical history.

The song: The operatic and avant-garde "Bohemian Rhapsody" was a risky gamble, being the most expensive single ever made and one of the most elaborate recordings in popular music history. But it was a smash hit right out of the box, staying at the top of the charts for nine weeks in 1975. It re-entered twice, first in 1991 following the death of vocalist Freddie Mercury, and again in 1992 after it's inclusion in Wayne's World. The reinterpretation of the 70s-opera/rock-ballad as a post-metal headbanger is a hilarious postmodern interpretation and a great piece of visual humor. In a film that values rock music as much as Wayne's World, it's quite an honor.


1.) Almost Famous - Tiny Dancer
by Elton John



The scene: William Miller (Patrick Fugit) is a teenage journalist, touring the country and chronicling the rising stars of the rock band Stillwater. Along the way, he meets Penny Lane (Kate Hudson); a fellow lost soul and "Band Aid," (like a groupie, but more admirable). After a few rocky performances, bad trips, and brushes with disaster, the infighting bandmates, the Band Aids and William all realize their place together over an Elton John song. Lost as individuals, but part of a greater whole.

The song: Yes, the number one spot goes to the twee sing-along from Almost Famous. Some call it unforgivably schmaltzy, I call it endearing and magical (barf buckets are located in the corner.) From the technical sense, it matches strong visual imagery with unforgettable musical accompaniment. From a narrative sense, it fits in well with the story; it doesn't interrupt, doesn't drag, and doesn't feel out-of-character for the cast to sing along. From an emotional sense, it's a masterpiece. There's just something about it that resonates on a deeply affecting level. It evokes feelings of camaraderie, inclusion, family and friendship and the rough, rocky roads that occur along the way. It's heartwarming, and reminds you of all the important people in your life. If you're in a bad place, it reminds you of better times and reassures you that things get better. It's not just the best music movie moment, it's therapy on film.

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The 50 Greatest Music Movie Moments: 10 - 6

10.) Magnolia - Wise Up
Written by Aimee Mann
Performed by the entire cast


The scene: Just prior to the climax, the nine main characters and their twisting, turning, intersecting storylines take a moment to breathe. With the world no longer moving, we get a moment of downtrodden introspection. They say it's always darkest before the dawn, and through our shared grief, we're all a little more connected.

The song: How often do we feel like we're alone in the world? How often are we plagued with feelings of helplessness, regrets, and longings? Frequently, as director Paul Thomas Anderson implies. But as Anderson also implies, we're never alone with our loneliness. Aimee Mann's melancholy tune reminds us life is just a series of coincidences, chance, interactions and strange things that happen. And this, this is something that happens.


9.) Say Anything - In Your Eyes
Performed by Peter Gabriel


The scene: With financial and legal stress ravaging the private lives of the Court family, daughter Diane Court (Ione Skye) is encouraged to sever her relationship with Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), a perennial underachiever with no aspirations. With nothing to offer besides his heart, Lloyd refuses to let the relationship end on such a bitter note. Lloyd grabs a boom box, a Peter Gabriel cassette, and lets the power of music speak volumes.

The song: Despite being one of the most cliche scenes in all of cinema history, I'd be lying if I said it had no impact on me. It's racked with cheesiness, but it's enduring legacy is a self-perpetuating feat; it's fascinating because of how fascinating everybody finds it. How enduring is this legacy? It's easier to find reenactment pictures on Google of this famous scene than of the scene itself.


8.) Do the Right Thing - Fight the Power
Performed by Public Enemy


The scene: After a long, hot day on the streets of Brooklyn, tensions flare after an argument erupts between pizza-maker and restauranteur Sal (Danny Aiello) and local residents Buggin' Out and Radio Raheem (Giancarlo Esposito and Bill Nunn), armed with only their ideals and a boom box. The argument evolves into a full-on yelling match, sharply turning violent after Sal smashes the boom box with a baseball bat. And suddenly, the abrupt silence is more piercing than any rap single.

The song: "Fight the Power" is featured so prominently and recurrently throughout Do the Right Thing, it was hard picking a single moment where the song resonated best. But when in doubt, go with the climax. With so much anger and hostility expressed so succinctly, "Fight the Power" is a timeless anthem of racial oppression which still resonates today as much as it did in 1989 (unfortunately, we can't say the same about the members of Public Enemy).


7.) Watchmen - The Times They Are a-Changin'
Performed by Bob Dylan


The scene: In the 1940s, the first superheroes come to fruition. They are The Watchmen. Their presence in this alternate history changes the world, focusing attention on military might and governmental strength. So much so, the Cold War progresses at a rapid pace, putting the entire planet on the brink of nuclear annihilation. 40 years later, the few remaining heroes have been driven into the shadows, working for clandestine government agencies, operating in secret, or retiring outright. What a strange and different world it is, just for the inclusion of supermen.

The song: Bob Dylan's folk classic is as representative of the cold war era as anything else. It is a perfect accompaniment to this montage of revisited, reinterpreted, and re-imagined world history. Sadly, it's use is doubly effective when compared to the other, mishandled musical moments later in the film.


6.) Rocky III - Eye of the Tiger
Performed by Survivor


The scene: Ten years after winning the WBA's Heavyweight title, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) is riding the wave of fame. He has fans, adoration, endorsement deals, and he met Kermit the Frog! The only one not happy is Clubber Lang (Mr. T), a young boxer slowly rising the ranks, insulted by Rocky's showmanship. I'm going to say that again: Mr. T is offended by somebody showing off. Rocky and Clubber's twin stories are shown simultaneously, stoking the fire, counting down the seconds until their convergent paths finally come to clash.

The song: "Eye of the Tiger" was written exclusively for Rocky III after the filmmakers were unable to secure the soundtrack rights for "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen. What a stroke of good luck. "Eye of the Tiger" is the definitive encouragement song; no matter what you're doing, it feels a hundred times more important when backed by Jimi Jameson's vocals. You're trying to postulate a new scientific formula? Experiencing heightened anxieties after being inflicted with ghost sickness? Working your way out of a depressive funk by re-embracing your nationality? All you need is some 80s hard rock and pulsing guitar to make everything seem right.

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The 50 Greatest Music Movie Moments: 14 - 11

14.) The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - Staralfur
Performed by Sigur Rós


The scene: After the death of his apprentice, best friend and possible son, oceanographer Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) has to come to terms with his life. In doing so, he gathers his friends, colleagues, coworkers, lovers and rivals to accompany him in his personal submarine for his greatest achievement to date: the re-discovery of the near-mystical Jaguar Shark.

The song: Taking place after the climax, Steve Zissou is at an existential crossroads. He no longer wants to find the Jaguar Shark, he has to. This is the culmination of his life's work and adventures. This is his vindication and the culmination of everything. And in that one moment when he and everyone around him lock eyes with the mysterious behemoth of the deep blue sea, it all comes together. The lilting sounds of Sigur Ros' voice, piano and strings brings forth feelings of transcendence, away from the humdrum trappings of life, and towards peace and prescence among the entire universe.


13.) Napoleon Dynamite - Canned Heat
Performed by Jamiroquai


The scene: In the unfairly biased world of high school politics, the strange, young Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) is the only force capable of getting his unpopular friend elected student body president. It's an uphill battle winning over the disapproving hearts of his peers, but Napoleon's been practicing his sweet dance moves for just such an occasion.


The song: There wasn't a high schooler alive in 2004 who didn't know about Napoleon Dynamite. Love him or hate him, he, his trademark diction and his sweet skills were memetics exemplified. And the piece de resistance was his epic dance, both simultaneous goofy and expertly choreographed. Taking something as niche as interpretive dance and bringing it to the masses is a feat in and of itself, but delivered by someone as lanky and awkward as Napoleon Dynamite is worthy of film history.


12.) 500 Days of Summer - You Make My Dreams Come True
Performed by Hall and Oates


The scene: Tom Hansen (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is head over heels in love at first sight with the girl of his dreams (and several other cliches). Despite her reluctance towards a romantic relationship, Summer (Zooey Deschanel) eventually gives in to Tom's pursuits. The morning after, Tom sees the world in a strange, new, hyperbolic way.

The song: 500 Days of Summer (which I refuse to type with the stupid parentheses) is not a typical romantic comedy; we're told from the beginning the romance is a failure. While the entire film isn't a flat-out parody of the genre, this particular scene is. Using what is quite possibly the most overused song in film history, 500 Days of Summer knocks over the uptight genre conventions, while also creating an independently memorable movie moment.


11.) Fast Times at Ridgemont High - Moving in Stereo
Performed by The Cars


The scene: After another day in his own personal hell, Brad Hamilton (Judge Reinhold) takes a moment of self-indulgent pleasure, fantasizing about his sister's friend, Linda Barrett (Phoebe Cates). More than just a daydream, Brad has a musically charged experience potent enough to launch every adolescent boy in 1982 straight into puberty.

The song: Fast Times at Ridgemont High has such a precisely perfect soundtrack, there are nearly a dozen music movie scenes worthy of attention. But when they're pitted against each other, there's only one true contender. The pool scene is not only one of the most famous scenes in teen-movie history, but arguably the definitive example of gratuitous nudity in film. But not just any song deserves to accompany the sequence; "Moving in Stereo's" ethereal synthesizer and echo-y guitar amplify the dreamscape nature, adding to the feeling that this is all just a wonderful, wonderful dream.

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The 50 Greatest Music Movie Moments: 19 - 15

19.) Revenge of the Nerds - They're so Incredible
Originally by Revenge
Performed by Larry B. Scott, Timothy Busfield, Curtis Armstrong, Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards


The scene: Since their first day on campus, the nerds of the Tri-Lambda fraternity have been bullied, persecuted and tormented to no end. Their only hope for a peaceful life is winning the annual Greek Homecoming Festival. Tied for first against their arch-rivals, the nerds' only chance for liberty and preservation rests on the outcome of the final event: the talent show.

The song: I cannot find any information regarding who is actually playing onscreen, and who is mimicking. I will assume, until proven otherwise, everybody is actually performing. That said, Revenge of the Nerds offers some real social commentary with this one musical number. In the 1980s, new wave reached new heights with synthesizers and other computer-generated melodies. Bands and artists ranging from Devo to Thomas Dolby to Kraftwerk proved that nerdy interests and pursuits were marketable, popular, and not something to be scorned. Maybe, deep down, all of us are nerds. And pretty proud of it.


18.) Trainspotting - Lust For Life
Performed by Iggy Pop



The scene: In a flurry of punk rock drums and guitar, we're dropped into the manic, heroine-filled world of Mark Renton (Ewan MacGregor) and his friends. Interspersed scenes of Renton fleeing from security guards, playing soccer, and shooting up allow the viewer to see and experience life as an addict in the Edinburgh slums.

The song: Every element of "Lust for Life" is a representation of the punk rock movement. The distorted guitar, the heavy bass, the indecipherable-yet-anarchistic lyrics, etc. What better way to get adrenaline flowing whilst expressing a general malaise towards society and rejecting social norms?


17.) Captain America - The Star-Spangled Man
Music by Alan Menkin, Lyrics by David Zippel
Performed by The Star Spangled Singers


The scene: After the success of the Super Soldier experiment, Captain America is destined to become the symbol of the United States and democracy the world over. And how will he achieve this masterful feat? Through massive amounts of marketing and a top-notch USO show!

The song: Simultaneously mocking and paying homage to both WWII propaganda and the golden age of comics, "The Star-Spangled Man" is a phenomenal sequence. It's made even more pleasurable by being unexpectedly sandwiched in an action movie that knows not to take itself too seriously.


16.) Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Twist and Shout
Performed by The Beatles


The scene: Worldly-wise teenager Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) believes in nothing greater than the beauty and mirth that come with a well-executed day off. Passing this knowledge onto his two best friends, Ferris drops a cherry on the sundae by getting the entire city of Chicago to join him in song and dance.

The song: Twist and Shout was recorded by The Beatles with the very intention of being a very rock & roll song. They succeeded admirably. The simple, easy to follow lyrics encourage swarms of people to join in. The drums and bass are infectious and impossible to ignore. The vivacious guitar invites everybody to stand up and dance. Speaking of which, Matthew Broderick originally had a choreographed dance routine to accompany his lip synching performance, but due to a sprained knee, had to improvise on the day of shooting. Considering an entire city is celebrating his musical spontaneity, I'd say he succeeded.


15.) Eurotrip - Scotty Doesn't Know
Performed by Lustra


The scene: Dumped by his girlfriend during his high school graduation, Scotty Thomas (Scott Mechlowicz) tries to cheer up by attending a house party. At that very party is Donny (Matt Damon) and his band, performing their new hit song, "Scotty Doesn't Know," crudely and vividly detailing the elongated and ongoing affair between Donny and Scotty's girlfriend.

The song: I want to like the movie Eurotrip so badly. It has everything it needs to be a comedy hit. It should be on tier with Harold and Kumar, or The Hangover. Unfortunately, for every thing Eurotrip does right, it does two things wrong. The actual funny scenes are sparse, lost among a landscape of tired stereotypes, cringe-inducing sexual jokes, and slapstick performed with really bad timing. But at its peak, it does get things right. Chief among them, the madcap insanity that an alternate-reality pop-punk version of Matt Damon would write a song with the sole intention of mocking a poor schlub by name, explicitly declaring he is taking advantage of the previously mentioned schlub, mocking the schlub for his obliviousness. Then on top of that, the song becomes an international chart-topper that follows and torments the schlub everywhere he goes. That is funny. Punching mimes is not funny.

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The 50 Greatest Music Movie Moments: 24 - 20

24.) The Hobbit - Misty Mountains
Lyrics by J.R.R. Tolkien
Performed by Richard Armitage and the 12 other dwarfs.


The scene: On the eve of a great adventure, a small army of dwarven adventurers take refuge in the home of a reluctant hobbit. As the night progresses, things grow quiet. A tentative Thorin (Richard Armitage) leads his companions in the Middle-Earth equivalent of a folk song.

The song: The internet needs to decide on the proper name of this song. So far, I've seen "Misty Mountains," "Over the Misty Mountains," "Far Over the Misty Mountains," and "Over the Misty Mountains Cold." Would it kill somebody to check the official film soundtrack? In seriousness, the song is a haunting dirge that instantly invokes imagery of great adventure and peril. Its simplicity is a great counterpoint to Howard Shore's epic, sweeping score, and the layered harmonies send chills right to your spine.


23.) Rushmore - Making Time
Performed by The Creation


The scene: Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman) is Rushmore Academy's most decorated and most active student. How active is he? Allow this montage of his extracurricular activities plainly demonstrate.

The song: Every montage needs a perfect song. Not only does it need to match the visuals in terms of theme, style, and emotion, it has to match the pacing. This particular montage is more like a series of photographs brought to life, and each punctuated measure of "Making Time" highlights each individual scene in their various glories.


22.) Kick-Ass - Bad Reputation
Performed by Joan Jett


The scene: In the climactic showdown between Hit Girl (Chloe Grace-Moretz) and the big bad's army of hired goons, our resourceful heroine finds herself in a bad place. Outgunned, outnumbered, and cornered, Hit Girl has only one advantage: outclassing every single thug as she runs through a gauntlet of rapid-fire fury.

The song: "Bad Reputation" is the go-to song for any movie scene featuring a female character kicking ass and taking names. However, I have never seen it put to better use than here. The stylization, the editing, and the cinematography are all top tier. I used to associate "Bad Reputation" as the theme to Freaks and Geeks, but now it is, and always will be, Hit Girl's leitmotif.


21.) Dazed & Confused - No More Mister Nice Guy
Performed by Alice Cooper



The scene: It's a right of passage for the Lee High School student body: the Seniors hunt down and paddle the Freshman. It's barbaric, insane, and a little sadistic, but everyone suffers the same. Although, some enjoy and some fear the tradition more than others; such is the case of the cruel Roy O'Bannion (Ben Affleck) and the perturbed Mitch Kramer (Wiley Wiggins).

The song: Dazed & Confused was a massive sleeper hit, widely passed over during its initial release, but now considered to be one of the best films of the 1990s. The soundtrack is near perfection, collecting some of the finest hard rock hits of the 1970s, any one of the musical moments could be argued as the best. For me, the finest is the Alice Cooper classic, which marks the turning point of Mitch's character arc. No longer a meek middle schooler afraid of the looming world, he is now a full-fledged high school student, and he wants to live.


20.) Pretty in Pink - Try a Little Tenderness
Performed by Otis Redding



The scene: In what has to be his 953rd attempt to transcend out of the friend-zone, Ducky (Jon Cryer) meets Andie (Molly Ringwald) at her place of work where he dances and lip-syncs to a motown classic. The best part? It is completely unprovoked by anything.

The song: The joke works on two levels. First, Duckie is among the whitest of white boys. So much so, Anthony Michael Hall's character from Sixteen Candles would call this guy a geek. As such, having him mimic the deep soul stylings of Otis Redding is pretty goofy. Second, Duckie is completely incapable of foregoing his intentions of wooing Andie, even if his attempts cross the boundary away from flirtatious, away from well-meaning, away from sincere, landing plumb in the area of batshit crazy.

If anybody feels sorry for Duckie never getting the girl, get over yourselves. He deserves the friend-zone. Besides, how is it not obvious that he is completely gay?

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